What's love got to do with it?

My colleagues think I'm the perfect person to write (in their words) a 'snidey anti-Valentine's Day' piece. Why me, you ask? It's because I'm apparently unromantic. I roll my eyes everytime I see someone gushing over soppy flicks like 'Love Actually' and I judge women for adopting their husband's names (and do away with any trace of their maiden names) the minute they get married. You won't commonly find PDA on my Facebook wall (that's Public Display of Affection for the uninitiated) and I detest the idea of a woman losing her individuality once 'in love'.

Does all of this make me a V-Day Grinch? Do I not believe in love? Of course I do. It's just that I believe that the notion of romantic love propagated by popular culture as this all-consuming, all-pervasive emotion is actually something that ultimately withers away. It's more like lust or passion. From the time we're born we're all fed a staple diet of mush - where love is supposed to be meeting your Miss or Mr Right and living happily ever after.

The concept of finding our 'soul mate' is subconsciously drilled into our heads by films, TV, books and the people and social institutions around us. So when we finally do feel a rush, a flurry of hormones, that head over heels feeling for someone - we are unable to look beyond it and at all the other important things it takes for a relationship to last.

Those in love often lose perspective. You can't blame them for the feeling leaves you starry eyed and with rose tinted glasses. We've all acted crazy in love and that's just what love can be - temporary insanity. A more appropriate name for it might be lust or passion. Everyone enjoys the rush that being 'in love' initially provides. Some enjoy it so much that they get addicted to the thrill associated with the beginning of a romance. They're not satisfied with the calmer, more assuring feeling of long-lasting stable relationship.  A real relationship that involves ups and downs and dealing with daily drudgery. It's only then that one realises the importance of companionship, trust, respect, admiration, shared values and intellectual compatibility.

So have fun this Valentine's Day.  Follow your heart, but take your brain along - because after all, love is just a second hand emotion. Celebrate the day not for the giddy feeling the onset of a new romance brings but for the person you've wisely chose to be with.

Love, unlike what the storybooks say, does not conquer all. You need a tad more for that.

What are your thoughts about Valentine's Day? Love it or hate it? Write to us india.lifestyle@yahoo.in