The Projector

The ‘New Years Eve’ One-Sheet Is the Turducken of Movie Posters

Will Leitch
The Projector

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We are not mathematicians, but it seems more than a little likely that the poster for "New Years Eve," the movie-star turducken nightmare that's coming out in December, features more actors' headshots than any poster in history. There are eighteen freaking people on that thing. It is still quite possible that each of them will have one line of dialogue, spoken while they sprint past the camera and into a cab. It is also quite possible that this line of dialogue will be "Hey, Happy New Year, everybody."

You know who has to be mad? Professional actors who are in this film that aren't on the poster. They're out there, too. Pity poor Carla Gugino, Sara Paxton, John Lithgow, Alyssa Milano, John Stamos, Yeardley Smith, Sarah Paulson and Jack McGee (among of course many others). It is one thing for Carla Gugino -- who just a few months ago, by the way, had a lead role in a major action film from Warner Bros. -- to say that she has a small role in "New Years Eve." It is quite another to say that she is, at the maximum, 19th-billed. You are a movie star, and you are in a movie, and this movie has 18 people on its poster and you are not one of them. That has to sting.

Still, it'd be kind of great if every poster did this from now on, showed pictures of every one of the top 18 billed actors. Congratulations, Martin Dew, who plays "Lyons Crony #1" in "War Horse" ... you're on a Spielberg poster!

Also, if they ever decide to reunite this cast for a movie about a serial killer who vows to murder 18 well-to-do New Yorkers, each day, from January 1-19, and marks each kill with an "X," we are not against that. Our guess is that he goes after Sofia Vergara first, and DeNiro last. And he keeps Ryan Seacrest captive but alive so he has to watch them all and broadcast their deaths.

Here's the optic nightmare in all its glory:

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