Stubble Trouble: Facial Hair in Film

10/07/08

SHOW THUMBNAILS

Whether you like it or not, men are increasingly sprouting hair from their faces. From celebrities on the red carpet to hipsters in coffee shops, facial hair is hot. In honor of this week's release of Body of Lies, which features Leonardo DiCaprio in a patchy mullah beard, check out some of cinema's more notable whiskers, soul patches, mustaches, and muttonchops.

Photo by Zade Rosenthal/MarvelOBADIAH STANE -- IRON MAN

As Tony Stark's partner-turned-nemesis Obadiah Stane, Jeff Bridges sported what could be called an inverted mullet -- it's Mr. Clean up top, Paul Bunyon down below.

Photo by Peter Mountain/Walt DisneyJACK SPARROW -- PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

Sporting whiskers complete with twin chin braids, Jack Sparrow proves that pirate fashion, like that of '70s rock guitarists, perpetually rides the line between cool and preposterous.

Photo by Miramax/Kobal Collection, WireImageORDELL ROBBIE -- JACKIE BROWN

It wouldn't be a list about strange hair without Samuel L. As Ordell Robbie, Sam sports a creepy braided Ho Chi Minh, which apparently is the rage among uzi-hawking arms merchants.

Photo by Miramax, Everett CollectionBILL "THE BUTCHER" CUTTING -- GANGS OF NEW YORK

Though a thug's life hasn't changed much over the centuries, a thug's fashion sense has. While modern day gangsters might wear gold chains and over-priced tracksuits when whacking rivals, their 1850s counterpart -- like Bill the Butcher -- prefers leggings, vests, and an outlandish handlebar mustache.

Photo by 20th Century Fox, Everett CollectionWOLVERINE -- X-MEN

Wolverine can heal from pretty much any wound, can crush your skull like walnut, and can shoot adamantium blades from his fist. It might not be a good idea to tell him that his bushy reverse goatee looks kind of silly.

Photo by George Kraychyk/Paramount PicturesGURU PITKA -- THE LOVE GURU

Though his movie was slightly less funny than getting struck in the head with a hammer, Myers did have a moderately amusing handle-bar mustache/Moses beard combo.

Photo by Miramax, Everett CollectionPAI MEI -- KILL BILL

Master Pai Mei's stupendous flowing beard is an important tool as a kung fu guru. He can stroke it contemptuously while making some impossible demand; he can finger it contemplatively, making him look as wise as Confucius; and, if push came to shove, he can use it as a lethal weapon.

Photo by 20th Century FoxBORAT SAGDIYEV -- BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICAN FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN

Borat has many claims to fame. He's a reporter for Kazakh television, his sister is the number four prostitute in the country, and he owns a clock radio. But his luxuriously groomed Slavic 'stache is his pride and joy.

Photo by Lorey Sebastian/New Line CinemaEVERETT HITCH -- APPALOOSA

When the West was wild, the laws of both civil society and fashion were up for grabs. Exhibit one, Viggo's strangely flamboyant 'stache/Zappa strip combo.

Photo by Gramercy Pictures, Everett CollectionTHE STRANGER -- BIG LEBOWSKI

Unless you are Prussian royalty, Mark Twain, or a mysterious cowboy frequenter of Los Angeles bowling alleys, it might be best to avoid the walrus mustache.

Photo by Columbia Pictures, Everett CollectionJOE DIRT

The full mullet, the lamb chop, the greasy goatee. Is Joe Dirt the height of white-trashiness or the vanguard of tight-jeaned hipster fashion? You be the judge.

Photo by Universal PicturesSONNY CROCKETT -- MIAMI VICE

'80s fashion plate Sonny Crockett changes his look for the worse, looking more like a Metallica roadie than a cop or a dope dealer with his unwashed mane and unfortunate horseshoe 'stache.

Photo by DreamWorks, Everett CollectionJOHN QUINCY ADAMS -- AMISTAD

Even though this style went out of fashion some time during the Grover Cleveland administration, Anthony Hopkins owns his Van Buren muttonchops as former president John Quincy Adams.

Photo by Kobal Collection, WireImageTIM THE ENCHANTER -- MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL

There are those who call him...Tim. And when he's not terrifying the Knights of the Round Table with tales of vicious rodents or wowing them with fiery displays of power, Tim the Enchanter busies himself by grooming his bi-colored wizard's beard.

Photo by Paramount/Kobal Collection, WireImageFRANK SERPICO -- SERPICO

Straight-arrow hippie narcotics detective Frank Serpico is an unlikely cop with an unlikely, if virile, beard.

Everett CollectionTEMUJIN AKA GENGHIS KHAN -- THE CONQUEROR

John Wayne and the filmmakers of "The Conqueror" were faced with a problem. Wayne was of Irish extraction and Genghis Khan -- the subject of the film -- was, y'know, not. So how did they turn the grizzled model of American machismo into the ultimate Asian warlord? Simple, Wayne wore a Fu Manchu.

Photo by Paramount/Kobal Collection, WireImageDATHAN -- THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

Strange facial hair abounded apparently during Biblical times. Helmet-headed Israeli turncoat Dathan (Edward G. Robinson) sports the sort of overgrown chinstrap beard that would be popular with pool sharks and record producers some 3500 years in the future.

Everett CollectionRUFUS T. FIREFLY -- DUCK SOUP

Leaders of the world have long used mustaches to denote virility and power. Think Saddam Hussein. Think Stalin. And think Rufus T. Firefly. The latter of which ruled the impoverished nation of Freedonia, a country short on facial hair and long on grease paint.

Photo by Jerry Tavin, Everett CollectionTHE TRAMP -- CITY LIGHTS

Charlie Chaplin became a star with his groundbreaking movies, hilarious hijinx, and, of course his trademark upper-lip landing strip. It's a look that might have caught on, if it weren't for this other guy, a power-mad Austrian with a terrible sense of humor, who cribbed Chaplin's style and made the toothbrush 'stache decidedly uncool.

Photo by Universal PicturesLAWRENCE TALBOT - THE WOLFMAN

If you want a lot of facial hair fast, there are two tried and true methods. You can either get yourself a chin wig and a lot of spirit gum or you can get yourself bitten by a werewolf and walk around during a full moon. Sure, you might wake up in tattered clothes next to the disemboweled body of a family member, but at least you won't get a rash from the wig glue.

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  • they didn't include Ace ventura because this is a list for FACIAL hair. Ace does have a cool "do" though
    report abuseChrista posted October 11, 2008, 3:25 pm PDT
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