People have been very concerned with this whole "Oil Spill" business down south. This is all well and good, but I think that people should be more concerned with how the oil spill is going to be cleaned up (let's be honest, the brilliant minds at BP's PR group have the "Stopping the Oil Spill" thing covered).
Here is what I am thinking; we go around to all of the BP executives and "liberate" their hair-club-for-men wigs. We then take them all and attach them to the trunk of a massive uprooted Oak Tree (honestly, the entire ecosystem of the Gulf is in jeopardy, is one more tree going to make the difference?).
This would form a giant cosmic mop which we would then attach to several dozen helicopters that would fly over the oil spill and mop it all up like spilled milk (milk that had been sitting for six or seven years and has now turned into a black ooze that could eat through steel rebar).
If that doesn't work, we would then go to the obvious Plan B; we "collect" all of the Halliburton executives and sacrifice them to the great Ocean Spirit, pleading with this mighty entity to spare our villages and not to flood our rice crop before the harvest. In my opinion, when all else fails— sacrifice something.
- Society & Culture
- Disasters & Accidents
- Oil Spill