There's no doubt about it, Joss Whedon's "The Avengers" is a slick, smart fanboy dream come true in gigantic, 3D proportions. But it's not without its virtues for those of us who do not count ourselves among the comic book crowd.
During the obligatory smash-and-crash, shoot-and-splatter action scenes with the inevitable outcomes, there's plenty of time for our minds to wander to a more personal train (wreck) of thought: "Who'd you rather?"
There's so much eye candy flying around in front of us with "The Avengers" that it leaves fantasy fodder for nights and girlie girl gossip for days. Which of these hunky superheroes would you most like to have "rescue" you? To reduce them down to their carnal essence, these Avengers seem to fall into two categories: white meat or dark?
On the dark and often brooding side, you have Robert Downey Jr. as the brilliant, sarcastic billionaire Tony Stark/Iron Man; Mark Ruffalo as the sensitive and brainy yet hair-trigger tempered Bruce Banner/Hulk; and Samuel L. Jackson in his long, black leather badass trench as uber-cool Nick Fury.
Then there are the beguiling blondes: Chris Hemsworth's rippling muscled, demi-god Thor; Jeremy Renner as the deadly archer Clint Barton/Hawkeye; and Chris Evans reprising his clean cut throwback Steve Rogers/Captain America. Decisions, decisions.
Just in case you believe this fanciful female quandary originated with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob," and renewed by "Team Gale" or "Team Peeta," know that we Baby Boomers have been playing it since the debate over "Team Sundance" or "Team Butch," and our mothers were playing it even before that with "Team Ashley" or "Team Rhett."
And don't even get me started on the Rat Pack, which spanned several generations and has been revived in the "Ocean's" films. George Clooney or Brad Pitt? Please! That's juicy material for unending hours of sordid speculation.
While the majority of my Baby Boomer girlfriends are split between Iron Man and Captain America, I find myself siding with my nieces, landing squarely in the brawny arms of Thor. Perhaps it's the demi-deity thing, or the fact that he's a Norse god, and we of Scandinavian descent have so few heroes. Or maybe it's just that hammer. Whatever the case, I definitely find him most crush-worthy.
So ladies, go not grudgingly but gleefully to this latest superhero epic. If there's not some man in your life dragging you along, I say make a day of it, invite the whole book club, and be sure to dine on something decadent while you discuss your deliberations afterward. It's just good, semi-clean fun, and that's what "The Avengers" is all about.
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