| Overall Grade: |
D |
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| Story: |
D+ |
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| Acting: |
C |
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| Direction: |
D- |
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|
| Visuals: |
D+ |
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|
History for idiots
by divalicious (movies profile)
Jul 12, 2008
52
of
78 people found this review helpful
"Showgirls" is one of my favorite really unintentionally funny, bad movies. Bad dialogue. Bad line readings. Preposterous storylines. "The Other Boelyn Girl" is all that and more in Elizabethan costumes. And it should be mentioned that the costumes are shoddy looking. Like a five year old got a hold to a Be-dazzler and went to town.
This movie couldn't be more simplistic about history if it were written in crayon. The premise, that Anne Boelyn had a sister, who also had an affair with Henry VIII, is pretty much true. But this version presents that the Boelyn family literally pimped both their daughters to a lust addled king for money. When I say pimped, I mean it. I kept waiting for the uncle to show up in a big feathered hat and tell the girls to go work the court and bring him back some money. It was like being hit over the head with a hammer.
The characters are all paper thin and Eric Bana's Henry is reduced to a man who's so lust driven that he'd be hard pressed to manage a newspaper stand, much less all of England. Scarlett Johanssen's Mary is supposed to be this wounded innocent, who just happens to cheat on her husband and falls in love with the married king. And we're supposed think she's the "good" sister. Natalie Portman, as Anne, was much better as Princess Amidala in The "Star Wars" prequels. If you've seen those, then you know how bad she is.
This film looks like it's been edited by a blind, bad tempered monkey with a pair of hedge clippers. The film plays so fast and loose with time you can't be sure when anything happened. It's so badly written that if you take out all the times someone says " But I've lain with him." or "The marriage was consummated." the movie would be four and a half minutes long.
This movie thinks so little of it's audience that it has the nerve to run sub-titles at the end to tell us that the red headed princess named Elizabeth grew up to be Queen Elizabeth. I'm surprised it didn't say "Not the one who's ruling now."
This movie taken in the right frame of mind can be a laugh out loud hoot. Just don't go to see it with any belief that you can take it seriously. |
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