| Overall Grade: |
A |
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| Story: |
N/A |
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| Acting: |
N/A |
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| Direction: |
N/A |
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| Visuals: |
N/A |
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It's Not A Movie
by cutie055 (movies profile)
Jan 26, 2008
246
of
332 people found this review helpful
I don't know what to call what I'm writing now. Usually I would write a MOVIE review for a MOVIE here. But Meet The Spartans isn't a movie. I don't know what to call it, honestly. It's basically VH1's Best Year Ever 2007 on the big screen, except a helluva lot worse. And that's saying something.
Anything and everything that happened in pop culture in the last 2-3 years is stuffed into this movie. Old jokes like Hilton, Trump, and You Got Served are still used uselessly, plus every pop culture anything (movies, TV, internet vids like Chocolate Rain and Chris Crocker) is just simply mentioned with a slight (stupid, unfunny twist) twist, and call it a joke. Seriously. For a "spoof" comedy, THEY DON'T SPOOF IT! For instance, the "Rambo" just simply mentions that his new movie is coming out to "Paris Hilton" with the seen-it-a-billion-times bad Sly Stallone impression, and "Hilton" just says "That's hot."
.....
and that's it. Paris walks off, Sly says "Say hello to my little friend" and introduces a midget of himself. The of thet scene, on to next random scene.
That's for practically each and every "joke" in this "movie."
Oh, and you KNOW they have to have the yearly "One of the Idol Guys is Gay!" joke in there, and this year it was Sanjaya. Funny, admist all the Sanjaya hoopla of the past year, not one gay rumor came out. It shows you how desperate and pathetic the "writers" are that they are just making up ***** and using recylced punchlines and oneliners to make something unfunny even unfunnier.
There is no story. There is no acting. There is no directing. The visuals (from the clothes to the set to the props) were bought at Wal-Mart.
I can't call this the worst movie of all time because this clearly isn't a movie.
Now I'm all for dumb comedies. I like the Will Ferrell and Knocked Up/Superbad type movies. Hell, I even like a couple of the older Scary Movies. But the thing about those movies were they had a purpose. A plot. A beginning, middle, and end. A POINT. SOMETHING! ANYTHING that'll keep the attention span of someone with an IQ. It didn't even have to be "clever." JUST SOMETHING FUNNY AND WITH A POINT!!
Meet the Spartans fits none of those qualifications, therefore it is not a movie.
So don't waste your time and money.
Sorry if it was a little lengthy, but hopefully I can help some Yahoo users with brains in their skulls from making a terrible mistake... |
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