| Overall Grade: |
F |
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| Story: |
F |
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| Acting: |
D |
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| Direction: |
F |
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| Visuals: |
F |
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HERE IS THE RECAP OF THIS CRAPPY MOVIE BELOW
by Antonio N (movies profile)
May 4, 2008
17
of
30 people found this review helpful
DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME AND MONEY!! MOVER-GOERS, YOU WILL THANK ME FOR THIS.
What a waste of my time and money. This movie was so boring, so annoying, so choppy, and just dreadfully done. George Clooney seemed so depressed, so melodramatic. I don't care what all the critics have to say---I ACTUALLY SAW THE MOVIE FROM BEGINNING TO END, AND IT SUCKED!!! I kept waiting for a captivating ending, but it ended with Clooney getting into a cab and riding around. How boring!! PLEASE, AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!! DON'T EVEN RENT THE DVD!! GILROY SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO MAKE SUCH A HORRIBLE, POINTLESS MOVIE. IN FACT, I WILL RE-CAP THIS HORRIBLE MOVIE SO THAT NO ONE WILL EVER SEE IT AGAIN:
INTRO: This guy rolls a cart through the hallways of a law firm while a horrible voice over trys to scare us (IT SOUNDED LIKE A CORNY HALLOWEEN DUBBED VOICE)
FIRST PART--CLOONEY REGRETS LOSING HIS FORMERLY-OWNED BAR IN A POKER MATCH, LEAVES THE UNDERGROUND POKER ROOM AND GETS INTO HIS CAR. DRIVES UP TO WESTCHESTER TO SOME BIG SHOT CLIENT YELLING AND SCREAMING B/C HE HIT SOME PEDESTRIAN. CLOONEY GETS DEPRESSED, WALKS INTO HIS CAR, DRIVES DOWN SOME ABANDONED ROAD WHERE HE SEES SOME HORSES UP A HILL, GETS OUT HIS CAR B/C THE HORSES ARE JUST SO DAMN CAPTIVATING, AND HIS CAR EXPLODES!!
4 DAYS EARLIER: CLOONEY IS SOMEHOW THE GUARDIAN OF THIS HOT SHOT BUT ALSO MANIC DEPRESSIVE LAWYER NAMED ARTHUR. ARTHUR BECOMES OBSESSED WITH HIS TEENAGE CLIENT, ANA, AND ALSO OBSESSED WITH CLOONEY'S KID---THIS GENIUS KID WHO WRITES FANTASY STORIES. ARTHUR WAS SUPPOSSED TO BE MAKING A CASE FOR A PESTICIDE COMPANY (U-NORTH), BUT INSTEAD FINDS OUT THAT THEIR PESTICIDES ARE HORRIBLE FOR THE ENVIRONMENT---NO ***** SHERLOCK!
ENDING---U-NORTH HIRES THESE RUSSIAN HITMAN TO KILL ARTHUR AND CHASE AFTER CLOONEY--THEN, IN ANTI-CLIMATIC FORM, IT FLASHES BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF MOVIE AND SHOWS THAT HITMAN WIRED CLOONEY'S CAR TO EXPLODE---AND IT SHOWS THAT CLOONEY RUNS BACK TO CAR--THROWS HIS WALLET, KEYS IN CAR SO THAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK THAT HE'S DEAD. (BUT REALLY, HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT THE HORSES!!)
CLOONEY COMES BACK TO NEW YORK, MEETS UP WITH THIS WOMEN WHO'S THE OFFICIAL SPOKESPERSON FOR U-NORTH, TRYS TO BRIBE HER 10 MILLION BECAUSE ARTHUR HAD PRINTED OUT ALL THE LEGAL EVIDENCE AGAINST U-NORTH IN A PAMPHLET SPIRAL-BOUNDED BY CLOONEY'S KID FANTASY BOOK COVER. THE WOMAN TAKES THE OFFER, AND HOLY CRAP! THE POLICE SHOW UP TO ARREST THE WOMEN!---WOW, GREAT--F******** ENDING---HAVEN'T SEEN THAT ONE BEFORE!! OH, AND WAIT, MAYBE CLOONEY IS A COP THE WHOLE TIME POSING AS A LAWYER???? WHO KNOWS WHO MICHAEL CLAYTON IS?? I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT!! WHAT A PIECE OF CRAP. I JUST SAVED YOU 2 1/2 HOURS OF HELL AND 11 DOLLARS :-) |
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