| Overall Grade: |
F |
|
| Story: |
D |
|
|
| Acting: |
F |
|
|
| Direction: |
F |
|
|
| Visuals: |
D- |
|
|
See this movie! If you like crap.....
by Michelle B (movies profile)
Mar 4, 2007
2
of
3 people found this review helpful
The producers of this movie should have known there was a problem when they could only hire 2 humans to monkey around in the crap that is "Immortal." (I mean, if they couldn't even get that Listerine swoosh-for-30-seconds you-can-do-it! guy, then something is terribly, terribly wrong.)
I believe the worst part was the CGI cartoon people they have running around pretending to be actors, interacting with each other and the real actors (actors referring to their supposed profession, not necessarily to what they do well). It was like a boring version of Mary Poppins... if Mary Poppins had bought some bad crack. The words did not even match the cartoons' mouths. I'm not a tech-snob, but we do live in the post-lord of the rings era, and there was nothing "precious" about this movie.
About halfway through, when the killer shark-thing was introduced I wanted it to leap through the screen and put me out of my misery. They couldn't use another egyptian mythology referrence? I don't know a lot about egyptian history but I'm pretty sure there were no hammer head sharks (aren't they the more gentle ones?) slithering up the pyramids.
A couple other things that sucked:
1. Horus' lazer beam eye weapon.
2. Making a leg out of iron. Why the hell did he need to sculpt little toes?
3. The main character, Jill: she shed her skin to reveal... blue hair.
4. The beginning.
5. The middle.
6. The end.
Sigh. I don't know what else to say about this movie, except.... DON'T. SEE. IT. EVER. Please, accept the sacrifice of 2 hours of my life and save yourself! |
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