| Overall Grade: |
F |
|
| Story: |
D |
|
|
| Acting: |
C |
|
|
| Direction: |
B |
|
|
| Visuals: |
B |
|
|
ToSeeThis toiletwaste(er..movie)is akin to TORTURE
by Tommy (movies profile)
May 28, 2005
37
of
52 people found this review helpful
To be as succinct as possible, words cannot describe the fury in my heart--that this film was permitted to be released onto the innocent public. The misguided executives who gave the "green light" to have the movie released caused a tragic day in American History that generations of our children may recall as the turning point in the greatness that built this nation.
The lack of the critics' review period, the stealth release when no other new releases would be able to knock this one down to the abyss demonstrates the nadir to which certain executives will dive to so that they could "earn" (rather steal) good money from the unknowing film buffs. A 2 hour home video of a snail moving across a patio would have supplied more entertainment here.
The line ringer ("No matter who wins, we lose") from the official website prognostics the future in a lovely poetic metaphor. However, no one wins, not even the actors who now have their names attached to this fly infested heap that even many roaches would avoid. (Note: the actors, director, etc. should not be blamed, they did endeavor to salvage the movie, but it would require a deity to save this nuclear waste)
The only redeeming factor that this movie succeeded in describing is that we did lose...horrifically. This is akin to a national disaster. When foreign nations catch a glimpse of this movie, I fear that our great country will invite a litany of additional hatred from unfriendly terrorist nations.
I beseech and exhort humbly to the FOX executives to "pull" this movie from circulation immediately as each running of the movie vitiates and pollutes our citizens and literally causes unspeakable horrors onto America that generations may be obligated to rectify and correct. God Bless America, we need divine support to remedy the evil unleashed.
The lack of plot, oddball dialogue, bizarre twists of storyline combine to define an entire new genre of movies. That this movie is of the "horror" genre is apt and wonderfully accurate in two ironic ways.
When Blockbuster gains this filth, err..I mean movie, I reckon they will be compelled to create an entirely "new" section in the stores. There will be the drama section, comedy, games, horror, and then a section named "Alien vs. Predator." I speculate that only a few more films in mankind's history will be placed in that category where Blockbuster will pay YOU to view the DVD. |
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