| Overall Grade: |
D- |
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| Story: |
F |
|
|
| Acting: |
D- |
|
|
| Direction: |
D- |
|
|
| Visuals: |
C- |
|
|
Try to Contain the Vomit
by Brando (movies profile)
Jun 26, 2008
16
of
30 people found this review helpful
Wow, this movie is terrible. Not only does it trash the reputation of an otherwise fantastic actor, William H. Macy, but it perpetuates the crappiness of a film series that should've stopped at number one.
STORY: Absurd. They go to the island to find a lost boy. Dinosaurs, of course, attack, because that's what they do. Then, amazingly, the humans figure out how to TALK to the dinosaurs, find their sensitive spots, and the now very colorful raptors don't kill them after all. Thrilling if you enjoy paper-thin plot lines and over-the-top dialogue.
ACTING: As I noted before, William H. Macy pretended that the movie wasn't a complete waste of time, and it didn't work. He looks as bored as the audience feels. Sam Neill revises his role as the wisened, bitter Dr. Grant ... and he really seems bitter ... bitter to be in this movie. But wisened with his paycheck.
DIRECTION: It's obvious why Spielberg distanced himself from this project, and some hack filled his place. There is no script. None whatsoever. The producers should've asked a thirteen-year-old boy to write a draft because that would undoubtedly be more worthwhile.
VISUALS: There's a new dinosaur. And he looks stupid. And the raptors are suddenly more colorful and talk to each other ... they TALK, and that's a major plot point. Wow. I can taste the acidity of my puke just thinking about it.
OVERALL: Don't watch it. That's my overall. Just don't even bother. Don't even rent it. Don't even burn it in a huge Catholic bonfire. It's not worth thinking about, or even this review. |
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