| Overall Grade: |
F |
|
| Story: |
B- |
|
|
| Acting: |
F |
|
|
| Direction: |
F |
|
|
| Visuals: |
D- |
|
|
Demented!!!!
by Jon (movies profile)
Mar 6, 2008
6
of
11 people found this review helpful
Here's a cool experiment, pop this worthless piece of junk in your vcr, then when it starts playing blink your eyes as quickly as possible for an hour and sixteen minutes, then the images just might look interesting. The story is Lord of the rings so I can't mark it to low for that, but the way they took it from book to screen is putrid.
It appears that a two month old gorilla was handed a pencil and attempted to kill the paper with it, and the music didn't fit at all, Saruman the WHITE was wearing RED, Gandalf pointed at things so much you start wondering if he's trying to gouge out invisible eyeballs.
Capturing live people and then scribbling on thier heads, and giving them walrus teeth, doesn't make the orcs look very realistic, the Wargs were modeled after diseased greyhounds, and Gollum looked like rotten liverwerst on legs. No one wore any pants, so it looked they're just running around in togas and hiked up mini-skirts, oh, and speaking of togas, did I mention that Elrond was played by none other then Julius Ceaser himself.
Aragorn looked like an eskimo, Boromir was fashioned after a viking reject, Legolas had the teeth of a woodchuck, and his bow was ridiculous, Gimli's axe looked like it was made of stone, and he had a little snow white and the seven dwarves hat on, sam looked like a very deformed rat, that had its' head squashed.
Gandalf could never be trusted to run with scissors with all the jerky hand movements, and he always called SARUMAN, ARUMAN. Battle sequences make you think of someone running around the house with a fly swatter, smacking people on their butts, the arrows look like suction-cup darts, the Ring wraiths must have an old war wound in their right legs because they always gimp. Aside from that, and the fact that there is virtually no decent character development, or entertaining dailogue, it's mediocre. |
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