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Like the never-ending controversy over whether director Tobe Hooper or producer Steven Spielberg was actually responsible for the film Poltergeist, I suspect the same questions may arise about Hell Ride – a retro biker film written and directed by Larry Bishop (son of Rat Packer Joey Bishop) and “presented” by executive producer Quentin Tarantino. While Bishop’s appearance in cult motorcycle films like The Savage Seven and Chrome and Hot Leather certainly made him qualified to revisit the genre, Hell Ride has Tarantino’s fingerprints all over it. From the scope 2.35:1 widescreen compositions, to the opening sequence shot in grainy black- and-white, to the Link Wray-sounding surfer guitar music on the soundtrack, the movie could have been titled Kill Bill Vol. 3. That David Carradine plays the ultimate target of a long- sustained revenge plot in both films only strengthens the argument.

Alternately, although Hell Ride has style to burn, it certainly lacks the substance and intricate plotting of a Tarantino film. Also missing is Quentin’s signature rapid-fire dialogue and in-joke references to other movies. Instead, Bishop tends to have his characters utter mundane phrases like “bikes, beer and booty” as if they were readings from scripture. The film is also intentionally loaded with gratuitous sex and nudity – requirements for any bad-ass motorcycle flick, I guess – but these moments only serve to stop the movie dead in its tracks to bask in the debauchery. Then again, the movie has so many starts and stops, I’m not sure these occasional departures are unwelcomed. The plot itself, which is nothing more than a rudimentary revenge tale grafted onto a motorcycle film, is so spotty and ambiguous at times that it feels incomplete.

Hell Ride opens with Pistolero (Larry Bishop), the president of a motorcycle gang known as The Victors, who’s been shot in his gut with an arrow and now lies dying in the desert. He has visions of an attractive Indian woman – his long, lost love named Cherokee Kisum (Julia Jones) – telling him to make sure he keeps a mysterious treasure safe for her boy. Meanwhile, a woman named Nada (Leonor Varela) appears alongside Pistolero and attempts to remove the arrow. Assuming Pistolero’s end is near, there is a sudden flashback to July 4, 1976 and we once again see Cherokee Kisum, this time tied to a chair. Some unseen men first slash her throat, then pour gasoline over her and light her on fire. A young boy we assume to be her son watches in horror from his bike outside. Flash-forward some 30 years and we once again meet Pistolero, without that annoying arrow protruding from his gut, now lording over his motorcycle gang with a tuxedo-wearing biker named The Gent (Michael Madsen) and a hot-shot kid named Comanche (Eric Balfour) as his main men.

As the story progresses, we learn that Cherokee was killed by a rival gang known as the Six-Six-Sixers that at the time was led by someone known as The Deuce. The current whereabouts of The Deuce is unknown, but the gang lives on under a psychotic biker named Billy Wings (Vinnie Jones), whose weapon of choice just happens to be a hand-held bow-and-arrow. Hmm. When a member of The Victors named St. Louie (Pete Randall) is killed in the very same way that Cherokee died, they see this as a message and Pistolero soon finds out from his squeeze/informant Nada that the Six-Six-Sixers are, indeed, “back with a vengeance.” After burying St. Louie, Pistolero makes Comanche his new left-wing man and the gang rides out in search of the Six-Six-Sixers to avenge both his death and Cherokee’s. Using some type of inexplicable sixth-sense, Pistolero is aware that there are members of his own gang who aren’t to be trusted, and he sets up a series of loyalty tests to determine who’s with him and who’s against him. By the time The Victors are ready to face off against Billy Wings and his Six-Six-Sixers in the inevitable showdown, the gang is pretty much whittled down to just the three amigos: Pistolero, The Gent, and Comanche.

Before that happens, however, they team up with an old friend and former gang member named Eddie Zero (Dennis Hopper), who provides some much needed support (and levity) in tracking down Billy Wings and none other than The Deuce (David Carradine) himself. Pistolero takes The Deuce hostage in the hopes of getting information about Cherokee’s long-lost treasure. But the gang’s ultimate goal doesn’t seem to be so important as to hamper them from stopping off at a few bars and whorehouses along the way to indulge in more gratuitous sex and drinking. The whole predictable revenge plot kicks in at this point and without giving too much away, The Deuce comes to a bad end as does his lackey, Billy Wings. Oh and that earlier sequence wherein we assumed Pistolero was about to ride into that big rest stop in the sky was actually just a lover’s quarrel between Nada and him – induced by a peyote trip – and he somehow survived the arrow that Nada just happened to accidentally stick into him.

Although Hell Ride promised a great throwback motorcycle film in the tradition of the grindhouse flicks that Tarantino himself loves, in the clumsy hands of writer/director Larry Bishop, the film became bogged down with unresolved plot threads and hammy acting. While seasoned talents like Michael Madsen and Dennis Hopper turn in typically amusing performances, it is Bishop’s own ludicrous turn as Pistolero that goes beyond amusing and into downright absurdity. With his sprayed-on tan and bad toupee, I couldn’t stop thinking how Bishop resembled Paul Reubens (aka Pee-Wee Herman) in his role as Derek Foreal in Blow. The man’s obviously well into his 60s, and while Dennis Hopper is probably around the same age, he doesn’t attempt to hide it beneath a wig and bad makeup. As an actor, Bishop should have known he wasn’t right for the part and as a director he should have known better than to cast himself in the first place.

The Video: How Does The Disc Look?

The film’s original 2.35:1 aspect ratio is presented in a very good high definition transfer compressed with the AVC video CODEC. Despite the overall retro feel of the movie and the attention to period motorcycles and costumes, Hell Ride looks very contemporary in terms of image quality and the transfer reflects that. The bulk of the movie takes place in the bright, outdoor Arizona sunshine and everything looks crisp, clean, and well-defined. Cinematographer Scott Kevan’s nice widescreen compositions look stellar with solid color balance and suitable saturation. Despite the bright, sunlit compositions, nothing ever appears bleached out or oversaturated. Standout scenes include an early sequence when Pistolero and his gang are all riding down a long stretch of highway with their tell-tale colors flapping in the wind and another when The Victors visit a bordello drenched in bright neon. Black levels are deep, dark, and consistent while the flesh tones all looked natural and nicely-rendered. I also didn’t detect any compression problems, halos or edge enhancement. Overall, a very good and detailed video presentation.

The Audio: How Does The Disc Sound?

Dimension serves up another active Dolby TrueHD 5.1 track that offers aggressive surrounds with well-placed directional effects. The ambient sound of revving motorcycles plays a big role in this soundtrack and the subwoofer offers the deep engine noise in all its rumbling glory. The aforementioned Link Wray-sounding music (provided by Daniele Luppi) along with some period music from the likes of Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels, all have nice placement through the front stereo channels while other musical cues and effects fill out the rear surrounds. There are a lot of great sound effects that ring out through this full and ambient mix with plenty of booming gunshots, loud revving engines, and raucous rock-and-roll blaring within the bars and bordellos. Dialogue is always clear and concise through the center-channel mix. Overall, a very good and active audio presentation.

There’s also a compressed English Dolby Digital 5.1 option that lacks the dynamic range of its TrueHD counterpart. The optional subtitles are in English SDH and Spanish.

The Supplements: What Goodies Are There?

In keeping with the trend of other Tarantino-produced projects, Hell Ride comes with a decent collection of bonus material for fans to chomp over, beginning with a feature-length running audio commentary track with writer/director/star Larry Bishop and director of photography Scott Kevan. While initially thankful to and appreciative of Tarantino for encouraging him to take on this gig, Bishop soon starts believing his own hype, so-to-speak. Granted, he did write, direct, and star in it, but the film really never would have gotten the green light without Tarantino and the presence of marquee names like Madsen and Hopper. Some of his comments about the production process are interesting, but he dwells a bit too much on the various people cast in the film – particularly some of the many scantily-clad women. Kevan offers some intriguing insights into the way he chose to photograph the Arizona landscapes like a modern western, but otherwise this is all about Larry Bishop – and a little of that can go a long way.

Next up are several short featurettes beginning with The Making of Hell Ride (8:50), which offers a brief but comprehensive overview of how the project came to fruition. Bishop explains how Tarantino (who gave him a brief role in Kill Bill Vol. 2) was always a big fan of his earlier motorcycle films and told him it was his destiny to write, direct and star in “the greatest motorcycle film ever,” as he puts it.

The Babes of Hell Ride (5:19) is pretty self- explanatory and provides interviews with all the women in the cast, most of whom appear naked in the movie. Interesting enough, the one who manages to keep all her clothes on, Leonor Varela, ends up being the sexiest one of all. As co-star/producer Laura Cayouette says here, they set out to cast the hottest women possible in the movie.

The Guys of Hell Ride (14:10) offers a similar examination of the male roles in the film, with Bishop explaining how most of the lead characters are both good and bad. He modeled his own character of Pistolero on John Wayne in The Searchers and he also discusses how his longtime friend, Michael Madsen, reminds him of Dean Martin. He wrote the part of The Gent with Madsen in mind.

The Choppers of Hell Ride (9:34), a peek at the various motorcycles, is with Bishop and Justin Kell, who was the film’s motorcycle consultant. Kell explains how each bike was selected to reflect the character riding it. Madsen also chimes in about how he had his own bike tailored to his specifications.

There’s also an interesting behind-the-scenes video diary titled Michael Madsen’s Video Diary (9:00) with ongoing narration by Madsen discussing the project. I actually enjoyed this off-the-cuff look at the making of the movie from Madsen’s perspective more than some of the other packaged EPK material. Madsen, who’s been friends with Bishop for some time, obviously has affection for the material and seems to have had a great time making a “biker picture” with icons like Bishop, Dennis Hopper, and his old friend, Tarantino.

Last, the BD includes the “red band” trailer for Hell Ride (2:30) presented in 1080p.

The 83-minute film is divided into sixteen chapters.

Final Thoughts

Given Tarantino’s endorsement and Larry Bishop’s cult following, I expected Hell Ride to be a lot more fun and freewheeling than it is. Bishop seems a little too enamored with himself and his own talent to deliver the goods and his worst mistake was to cast himself in the lead role. Despite very good video and audio presentations and a decent collection of bonus material, the disappointing movie only warrants a marginal rental recommendation for retro motorcycle cultists or curious Tarantino fans. All others should take a pass.