My good buddy Troy and I don’t fight much, but the
question that is sure to get us going is this: “If you could be
Han Solo or Indiana Jones, which would you be?”For
Troy, it’s a no-brainer: give him Indy every damned day of the
week. I’m more conflicted in my response; while I understand
completely the mythos and, well, aweseomeness of Indiana
Jones (just an excuse to wear that fedora every day would be welcome),
I don’t know that I could say ‘no’ to riding around
in the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca as my co-pilot. Am I wrong?
Our argument gets even more heated because the Indiana Jones
legend just got a little suckier. You fan boys can try to deny it, but
I have news for you: The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones
really blows. And not in the way that LucasFilm curios like The
Star Wars Holiday Special suck (that one is a true exercise in
skin-crawling viewer stamina). The Adventures of Young Indiana
Jones starts awfully and just goes down the tubes after that.
In theory, it’s an exceptional idea: a weekly television
show giving us the travails and exploits of young Indy (an adventurer
among adventurers, to be sure) as he solves mysteries, unearths long-
lost relics and beats the bad guys? Sounds great! But there are
problems.
Number one: Pace. First and foremost, this is
not The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles as aired on
television. In the mid-90s, when facets of the show were authored to
VHS, LucasFilm disregarded the hour-long TV format of the series,
instead fusing together different elements of various episodes in
collections of 90-minute ‘movies’. And this two-for-one
ethic simply aborts any kind of organic narrative flow that these
adventures could possibly have.
In the Indiana
Jones movies, Spielberg proved to be astutely deft in going back
and forth in time, allowing us a chance to view elements from
different eras as a prelude to the central voyage at hand (the classic
example being the true ‘young Indy’ sequence that opens
Last Crusade). Here in these episodes, while there might be
intellectual strains that intersect with the two adventures, they make
little sense: Indy’s in Kenya meeting Teddy Roosevelt,
then in Paris with Norma Rockwell; Indy’s meeting the real-life
Nancy Drew at Princeton, then he’s talking revolution on the
streets of Ireland.
Number two: The writing and acting.
Lucas has made quite a feather-bed for himself as overseer of major
films such as the Indiana Jones movies (and even
Labyrinth!). So the overall scope of The Adventures of
Young Indiana Jones remains true and appropriate in each of these
90-minute entries, but the individual efforts of actors and writers
are nothing short of abysmal. Luckily, the series improves somewhat
after the first installment here (I made it through about three
minutes of the first film before throwing my dinner fork down on my
plate and forcibly tearing the DVD out of the player. And yes, I
revisited the episode a while later and it still stunk), but where
Harrison Ford and company exude charisma and Lucas/Spielberg were
smart enough to hire writers like Peter Kaufman to pen the
Indy film scripts, The Adventures of Young Indiana
Jones is chock-full painful, neo-Waltons altruism that
does nothing to serve the drama at hand, not to mention the Indiana
Jones legend at heart.
And understand, there are
twelve discs of material to swim through on this collection
(call LucasFilm anything but encyclopedic) and yet THIS IS NOT A
DEFINITIVE COLLECTION. Maybe volumes two and three (slated for release
over the next few months) may include original material that
isn’t here, but I wouldn’t hold your breath. The biggest
omission is that the original-airing codas from an older Indiana Jones
(George Hall) simply aren’t here – at all. They
have been excised. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me: Lucas, as
effective as he can be, is all-too-notorious for his attitudes toward
revisionist filmmaking.
So that’s The Adventures
of Young Indiana Jones for you (I hate referring to the show like
that, in the same way I refuse to refer to it as Indiana Jones and
the Raiders of the Lost Ark – THERE’S NO WAY).
Those of you with Indy tattoos may give the show a lot more credit
than this writer. And as I’ll get to later, there can be no
complaints made in regards to bonus features here. But these are
chopped-up, illogically-combined installments that diminish the
Indiana Jones magic.
If Indiana Jones and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sucks, I just don’t know what
I’ll do…
The Video: How Does The Disc
Look?
These simply don’t look like
Indiana Jones-level presentations. Yes, the show is
presented in its original full-frame format (fine) and we need to
remember that the series was shot on 16mm film instead of the standard
35mm in order to cut costs (in my mind, not a good call). And for
these and other reasons it was hard for me not to wince at certain
points. Color accuracy is painfully off; skin tones are almost orange
the whole way through; saturated hues don’t pop at all. And the
overall sense of fine detail quality is hit-and-miss at best.
There’s a groady smear to almost every moment of this set.
LucasFilm has set their standards quite high with DVD releases in the
past, but start dropping your expectations: These presentations are
run-of-the-mill, if even that.
The Audio: How Does
The Disc Sound?
I would have bet you $100 a year
ago that LucasFilm would upgrade to 5.1 with these releases, but as it
stands, the audio remains in simple stereo. And it’s not even
that exceptional of a mix to begin with. Dialogue isn’t crisp
and clear, indoor scenes are a lot more reliably discernable than
outdoor ones, and the show’s musical score comes through with an
almost tinny lack of fidelity. Sound effects are solid most of the
time, but the show also isn’t peppered with atmospherics the way
the films were. Disappointing.
Also included are English
Closed Captions.
Supplements: What Goodies Are
There?
Good news and bad news: There are literally
hours of bonus features, but absolutely none of it
has to do with the show itself (it’s all history-based). If that
doesn’t mean much to you, you’ll definitely dig these
extras, but this writer is pissed that there aren’t any
bonuses specifics to the show on this set.
On Disc One, we get four documentaries:
Archaeology: Unearthing Our Past (20:00) is a nice crash
course in the intricacies of archaeology; Howard Carter and the
Tomb of Tutankhamun (23:00) treads similar thematic ground as the
My First Adventure episode (the docs are set up this way),
and looks at the famous discoverer’s life and findings;
Colonel Lawrence’s War: T.E. Lawrence and Arabia
(36:00) is a peek at the historical figure’s controversial life
and legacy; and From Slavery to Freedom (30:00) is a short,
cursory introduction to the modern history of slavery.
Six
documentaries are included on Disc Three:
Theodore Roosevelt and The American Century (31:00), a look
at the president’s exploratory exploits and travails;
Ecology: Pulse of the Planet (24:00) looks at our
relationship with planet Earth (and how it’s kind of going to
pot); American Dreams: Norman Rockwell – The Saturday
Evening Post (24:00) is a self-explanatory look at the iconic
artist; Art Rebellion: The Making of the Modern (26:00) is a
quick peek at early-20th-century art and a handful of its
movements; and Edgar Degas: Reluctant Rebel (23:00) and
Braque and Picasso: A Collaboration (22:30) offer
perspectives on these artists and their contributions.
Disc Five brings us more docs: Giacomo Puccini:
The Music of the Heart (26:00) and It’s Opera!
(29:00) offer thoughts on both opera as a form and a more specific
look at one of its most notable luminaries; The Archduke’s
Last Journey: End of an Era (21:00) is one of the better docs
here – it looks at Franz Ferdinand’s assassination and how
that opened the door to WWI; Powder Keg: Europe 1900-1914
(26:00) also looks at the leadings-up to the war; Sigmund Freud:
Exploring the Unconscious (22:00) and Carl Junk and the
Journey of Self Discovery (19:30) are biographical looks at those
two behemoths of modern psychology; and Psychology: Charting the
Human Mind (26:30) is a more general overview.
On Disc
Six, we get four documentaries: Seeking Truth:
The Life of Leo Tolstoy (31:00) and Unquiet Voices: Russian
Writers and the State (26:00) look at one of the kings of Russian
literature and his contemporaries, as well as how they both worked in
and forever influenced the country in which they lived; and
Aristotle: Creating Foundations (22:00) and Ancient
Questions: Philosophy and Our Search For Meaning (24:00) are
looks at ancient forms of philosophy that have paved the way for many
of our modern democratic practices. More
docs on Disc Seven: Jiddu Krishnamuti: The
Reluctant Messiah (27:00) and Annie Besant: An Unlikely
Rebel (27:00) are straightforward looks at these two historical
figures (they both play prominent roles in the Journey of
Radiance tele-film); and Medicine in the Middle Kingdom
(27:00) and Eastern Spirituality: The Road to Enlightenment
(30:00) take aim at illuminating Chinese medical and spiritual
histories.
Disc Nine offers these docs:
Thomas Edison: Lighting Up the World (27:00) and
Invention and Innovation: What’s Behind a Good Idea?
(23:00) are self-explanatory looks at the famous American
inventor and the history of world-changing inventions; The Mystery
of Edward Statemeyer (26:30) is a look at the creator of The
Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew; and Wanted: Dead or Alive
– Pancho Villa and the American Invasion of Mexico (28:00),
General John J. Pershing and His American Army (28:30) and
George S. Patton: American Achilles (30:00) are biographical
peeks at these military mavens’ lives and careers.
On
Disc Eleven we get: Easter Rising: The Poets’ Rebellion
(26:00), The Passions of William Butler Yeats (28:00),
Sean O’Casey vs. Ireland (25:30) and Ireland: The
Power of the Poets (27:00), all of which are looks at the modern
history of Ireland from a literary perspective; and Winston
Churchill: The Lion’s Roar (34:00), Demanding the Vote:
The Pankhursts and British Suffrage (27:00), and Fighting for
the Vote: Women’s Suffrage in America (31:30), are all
interesting looks at these figures and movements (the American
women’s suffrage entry is particularly engaging).
Then, on Disc Twelve, we get a longer-than-usual (yet far more
surface-level) documentary about intellectual
progress in the 20th century and how the adventures of the
Joneses interacted with them.
Exclusive DVD-ROM
Features: What happens when you pop the disc into your PC?
Disc Twelve offers the set’s only non-
documentary bonuses. We get some DVD-ROM materials: An
interactive timeline and a cute
game.
Final Thoughts
The disappointment of the year (well, at least until
Volume 2 arrives next month), The Adventures of Young
Indiana Jones, Volume 1 is dull-as-dirt entertainment posing as
an informative and family-oriented appendix to the Indiana
Jones films. Sure, there are hours and hours of bonus material
here – all of which are as good as anything I’ve seen on
The History Channel and the like. But are you kidding? Not a
single behind-the-scenes documentary? Nothing about the
show’s development or restoration? Not a thing? And to
add insult to injury, the audio and video components here are not at
all of LucasFilm’s usual high-quality levels: They’re
standard TV fare at best. Trust me, fellow Indy fans: rent
this before you decide to buy. You very well may change your mind
about doing so.