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After all the media hoopla about how Paul Schrader turned a cut of his version of Exorcist: The Beginning in to Morgan Creek and they rejected it, trading his supposed filmic sobriety with the "pass-the-popcorn" mall- friendly Renny Harlin's dub-ass bozo gymnastics, every nerd in America knew one thing about this film: don't see it in the theatre - wait until both directors' versions are on one big DVD set and check it out.

Either in an attempt to save face (the film did poorly at the box office - surprise, surprise) or because Schrader's version is mired in rights-clearance red tape, Exorcist: The Beginning arrives on DVD in a Harlin-only version, showcasing a perfect example of how, when Harlin's material isn't as dumb as he is (The Long Kiss Goodnight is still a hoot), he always screws the pooch.

First of all, this film isn't nearly as Catholic as it should be. Sure, Stellan Starsgard wears his priest outfit nicely, but what gave the first Exorcist such an indelibly creepy realism was its adherence to Catholic principle. Renny Harlin only utilizes Catholicism in Exorcist: The Beginning as an ancient history crutch - if these guys didn't have to go on an excursion to uncover the deep, dark Catholic secrets of evil, I get the impression that Harlin would have thrown all the priest collars in this movie out the window. Where's the creepiness in that?

And secondly, there are no scares. Supposedly, that's endemic of Schrader's moody (but scream-free) original cut, but in Harlin's hands, there is no atmosphere or impeding danger - it's just an action/horror flick without any action or horror. Bats fly at the camera and there are excruciatingly loud music cues and screams that bombard you frequently, but there's nothing behind them.

If we had a chance to watch both Harlin's and Schrader's perspective of this troubled picture, there would be a reason to check out Exorcist: The Beginning. Hell - it was a great idea that could have really freed the DVD format - you wouldn't even have to like the movies to want to see how two different artists (and in Harlin's case, I hesitate to use that particular term) approach material.

But this Harlin-only version will appeal only to the most Exorcist-craved, and why would you bother watching a crappy new Exorcist picture when you could re-watch the original?

At least John Boorman is sighing somewhere; somebody finally made an Exorcist movie worse than Heretic.

The Video: How Does The Disc Look?

Presented in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen, Exorcist: The Beginning at least looks really good. Black levels are rock- solid, color contrast is thorough and widespread, and line quality is overall quite strong. There's a bit of grain on the transfer and there are minor halos that become noticeably apparent around moving objects in frame, but all in all, this one looks fairly strong.

The Audio: How Does The Disc Sound?

Wow. For a movie this terrible, the Dolby Digital 5.1 and DTS 5.1 tracks sure make this piece of crap sound like a million bucks. With all the fidelity, cleanliness, and heft you'd expect from the best audio mix, Exorcist: The Beginning showcases an excellent sound design implemented thoroughly through all channels. Separation is exploited well, surrounds are given a lovely workout - especially in more subdued atmospheric-only sections - and the .1 LFE channel provides a nice, firm kick. The DTS track is, of course, a notch about the 5.1 - simply for fidelity within lower tones and clarity - but both of these mixes will impress you far more than the film ever will.

Also included are English, French, and Spanish subtitles, and English Closed Captions.

Supplements: What Goodies Are There?

With all the gossip about Harlin's and Schrader's tumultuous filmmaking adventures, it's simply sinful that there isn't more juice here.

Renny Harlin's screen-specific audio commentary is intriguing - he dives a bit into how rushed his experience making the film was and how it manifests itself in below- average film results (mostly in terms of tone and CGI) - but he doesn't dish any dirt about Schrader or the kind of film he had to work with when he finished this one up. Talk about a missed opportunity. Damn you, Warner legal!

The only other extras here are a simple, pedestrian behind-the-scenes featurette (8:30), and the film's theatrical trailer. Boo.

Exclusive DVD-ROM Features: What happens when you pop the disc into your PC?

No DVD-ROM materials have been included.

Final Thoughts