I remember how easy it was to get my grandparents going when it
came to one of their favorite (or at least they played it up like it
was one of their favorite) superficial squabbles: Who was better, Dino
or Sinatra? Gram - to this day - swears she has nothing against
Sinatra, but knows that Dean Martin was a far better entertainer. My
late grandpa, however, couldn't understand why anyone would
place higher on the entertainment hierarchy than Frankie.
My
opinion on who's hipper is torn - while there's no denying Sinatra and
his uber-cool sensibilities, there's something sassy and matter-of-
fact about Martin's singular pizzazz - he may not have been the lady-
killer Sinatra was, but he had his charms. I have to admit, however,
that Sinatra was the better "movie star" of the two - his
roles in From Here to Eternity and The Manchurian Candidate alone
cement his iconic status - but, even in lighter fare like the original
Ocean's 11 (which isn't as bad as you've heard), Martin is no
square. Anyway, I had never seen Five Card Stud, Henry
Hathaway's 1968 western with Dino and Robert Mitchum, but I had always
wanted to. It's been on moratorium on VHS for a while, so the arrival
of this moderately priced Paramount DVD was really exciting for me.
But Dino's the best thing about the film: his character is suave and
debonair and takes care of business with his trademark Dean Martin
charm. His interactions with a young Yaphet (ALIEN) Kotto are among
the film's campy highlights. Martin plays every scene like he's on
stage at a nicely-laid-out ballroom, playing to the back row with
exaggerated mannerisms and an almost-Southern gentleman air.
But the majority of the film is really substandard - Robert Mitchum
is literally wasted in a role as the morally ambiguous priest who
mysteriously comes to town. It's almost a carbon copy of the twisted
role he played in the far-superior Night of the Hunter, one of the
more underrated films of all time. Here he's left with a cool action
finale (Bibles have never looked cooler than they do when Mitchum uses
them as gun-holders), but the rest of the time he's just treading
water.
Then there are the ample joys in watching Dean Martin
woo his two lady-friends in the film; Martin's almost as lucky at
cards as he is with the ladies. Yet, again, it's terribly ill
conceived. Martin uses colloquialisms and actions that are firmly
rooted in mid-60s culture that have no place in a movie that takes
place in the 1880s (at least one that's this decidedly un-campy). And
his girlfriends are no help. They're done up like Antonioni pinups in
their ridiculous corsets and giant, bouffant turn-of-the-century
dresses. Eeek.
Watching Five Card Stud gave me a pretty clear
picture as to why the film has gone missing from video shelves for so
long - it's really not all that good. Maurice Jarre's score is the
same old same old, the story and direction are surprisingly stagnant,
and even the potentially campy Dean Martin-sung theme song is
pedestrian. I bet my grandpa rubbed it in to my gram pretty good with
a dud like Five Card Stud. But then again, Gram had the fodder of
those embarrassing early-90s "Duets" albums to hold over
Sinatra. I guess the moral of the story is that those two Rat Packers
can still share the penthouse of the cool, 1960s Las Vegas casino -
regardless if some of their movies were turkeys.
Video: How
Does The Disc Look?
Presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic
widescreen, this transfer looks as substandard as the film. The
available print is loaded with dirt and debris - it doesn't look as
though it's been cleaned up or remastered at all. So, with source
material as bad we've got weak colors and dull contrast, with faded
blacks and terrible detail and shadow delineation. Who knows if the
film will ever get a better transfer for a later release, but if this
is what we're left with, fans of the film will be vastly
underwhelmed.
Audio: How Does The Disc Sound?
The
film's original mono track has been transferred into a cut-and-paste
2.0 mono mix, and it's also pretty substandard. Jarre's lilted music
plays best, with fairly pleasing fidelity benefiting his arrangements,
but overall stereo separation and dynamic range are poor. Even for a
mono mix, this is below par.
Also included is a French mono
dub, English Closed Captions and English subtitles.
Supplements: What Goodies Are There?
Well, none...
DVD-ROM Exclusives: What do you get when you pop the disc in
your PC?
No ROM extras have been included.
Parting Thoughts
For Rat Pack aficionados, there'll
be a moderate twinge of excitement with Five Card Stud, but only
enough to merit a rental. The transfer and audio mix are strikingly
bad and there is nary an extra to be found. If you're a fan at all of
this critically lambasted film, it'll be nice to be able to actually
see the film again after so long, but with this disc's $24.95 list
price, I'd say you should proceed with caution.