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My opinion on who's hipper is torn - while there's no denying Sinatra and his uber-cool sensibilities, there's something sassy and matter-of- fact about Martin's singular pizzazz - he may not have been the lady- killer Sinatra was, but he had his charms. I have to admit, however, that Sinatra was the better "movie star" of the two - his roles in From Here to Eternity and The Manchurian Candidate alone cement his iconic status - but, even in lighter fare like the original Ocean's 11 (which isn't as bad as you've heard), Martin is no square.

Anyway, I had never seen Five Card Stud, Henry Hathaway's 1968 western with Dino and Robert Mitchum, but I had always wanted to. It's been on moratorium on VHS for a while, so the arrival of this moderately priced Paramount DVD was really exciting for me. But Dino's the best thing about the film: his character is suave and debonair and takes care of business with his trademark Dean Martin charm. His interactions with a young Yaphet (ALIEN) Kotto are among the film's campy highlights. Martin plays every scene like he's on stage at a nicely-laid-out ballroom, playing to the back row with exaggerated mannerisms and an almost-Southern gentleman air.

But the majority of the film is really substandard - Robert Mitchum is literally wasted in a role as the morally ambiguous priest who mysteriously comes to town. It's almost a carbon copy of the twisted role he played in the far-superior Night of the Hunter, one of the more underrated films of all time. Here he's left with a cool action finale (Bibles have never looked cooler than they do when Mitchum uses them as gun-holders), but the rest of the time he's just treading water.

Then there are the ample joys in watching Dean Martin woo his two lady-friends in the film; Martin's almost as lucky at cards as he is with the ladies. Yet, again, it's terribly ill conceived. Martin uses colloquialisms and actions that are firmly rooted in mid-60s culture that have no place in a movie that takes place in the 1880s (at least one that's this decidedly un-campy). And his girlfriends are no help. They're done up like Antonioni pinups in their ridiculous corsets and giant, bouffant turn-of-the-century dresses. Eeek.

Watching Five Card Stud gave me a pretty clear picture as to why the film has gone missing from video shelves for so long - it's really not all that good. Maurice Jarre's score is the same old same old, the story and direction are surprisingly stagnant, and even the potentially campy Dean Martin-sung theme song is pedestrian. I bet my grandpa rubbed it in to my gram pretty good with a dud like Five Card Stud. But then again, Gram had the fodder of those embarrassing early-90s "Duets" albums to hold over Sinatra. I guess the moral of the story is that those two Rat Packers can still share the penthouse of the cool, 1960s Las Vegas casino - regardless if some of their movies were turkeys.

Video: How Does The Disc Look?

Presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, this transfer looks as substandard as the film. The available print is loaded with dirt and debris - it doesn't look as though it's been cleaned up or remastered at all. So, with source material as bad we've got weak colors and dull contrast, with faded blacks and terrible detail and shadow delineation. Who knows if the film will ever get a better transfer for a later release, but if this is what we're left with, fans of the film will be vastly underwhelmed.

Audio: How Does The Disc Sound?

The film's original mono track has been transferred into a cut-and-paste 2.0 mono mix, and it's also pretty substandard. Jarre's lilted music plays best, with fairly pleasing fidelity benefiting his arrangements, but overall stereo separation and dynamic range are poor. Even for a mono mix, this is below par.

Also included is a French mono dub, English Closed Captions and English subtitles.

Supplements: What Goodies Are There?

Well, none...

DVD-ROM Exclusives: What do you get when you pop the disc in your PC?

No ROM extras have been included.

Parting Thoughts