Based solely on my own nonscientific survey (which are the only
surveys I am qualified to conduct), I have discovered that every
universally-panned, big-budget movie of the 80s and 90s share one
distinct commonality: once the hoopla regarding cost overruns and
onset feuding subsides, none of these films are all that bad. Bloated?
Sure! Ego-inflated vanity projects? Definitely! The end of
civilization as we know it? Hardly. Hudson Hawk, Last Action Hero,
Bonfire of the Vanities and Ishtar are all movies made by people so
talented that their failures can only be spectacular.
The
above-mentioned films all have their moments and once the rear view
mirror of time gives us some distance, we realize how unfair we were
to these fun, if admittedly flawed, movies. To this list of mega-bombs
worthy of reexamination, I submit Joe Versus the Volcano, a fluffy
fairy tale making its DVD debut courtesy of Warner Home Video. In the
film, Tom Hanks plays Joe Banks, a dreary, beaten down man living a
mirthless, colorless existence working at a Long Island factory that
proclaims itself, "Home of the Rectal Probe." Joe's office
features cement walls and florescent lighting that may literally be
driving him insane. These first few scenes (with production design by
Bo Welch, who also designed "Beetlejuice") constitute a
great setup. They create the anticipation of being taken on a unique
journey. We're locked into the movie and look forward to what will
happen next. As it turns out, Joe isn't slowly being driven
insane: he's slowly dying. Diagnosed with something called a
"Brain Cloud," Joe is told he's got about five good months
left, after which he'll take a rapid turn for the worse,then die.
Emboldened by his impending demise, Joe quits his job. Later he is
visited by a man named Graynamore (Lloyd Bridges), who owns an island
rich in a certain rare mineral. The natives (who, for some reason are
quite fond of orange soda) will let Graynamore mine his precious
mineral if he provides a human sacrifice for their volcano. Since Joe
is about to die, it sounds like a winning scenario all around:
Graynamore gets his minerals, the natives get their sacrifice and Joe
gets to check out in style.
So after going on a fabulous
Manhattan shopping spree via limo (driven by the great Ossie Davis),
Joe boards a yacht and sets sail for the island of Waponi Woo. Joe is
accompanied on his voyage by Graynamore's daughter (Meg Ryan, one of
three roles she plays in the film), who will be given the boat as a
thank-you for escorting Joe to the island. Once on Waponi Woo, Joe
meets the Island's tribal chief, played hilariously by Abe Vigoda.
Joe's ultimate fate will not be disclosed here, but it is a letdown
considering what came before.
What I liked about Joe Versus
the Volcano was that it was conceived and written by one man. Not by
committee. Not by focus groups. Not by 25-year old studio executives
who change things because they think it justifies their jobs. It has a
voice and a point of view and plenty of well-crafted lines. However,
as with any singular voice, you get not only the best, but
occasionally the worst of one writer's vision. And the writer in
question is John Patrick Shanley, a former playwright who won a Best
Original Screenplay Oscar for Moonstruck. Not only did he write Joe
Versus the Volcano, he also directed it.
While I admit the
film gets less interesting as it goes along, it does have a winsome,
cracked quality that I liked. What I believe people didn't like in
1990 is how the film's desire to be unusual didn't mesh with its
desire to tell a love story and make a point. Still, the movie is a
sweet and watchable fable, unlike anything you've seen. And when was
the last time the words "unlike anything you've seen" were
used to describe a love story?
Video: How Does The Disc
Look?
For a twelve-year old film, Joe Versus the Volcano
looks pretty good. I was very surprised at how little grain was
evident in this print. Still, artifacting was heavy at times. Detail
is fairly sharp, although the overall picture was soft. Film begins
with a very muted palette, as Joe withstands another day in his dingy,
gray cubicle, but once his adventure begins, the picture gets much
more colorful. Blacks are well within the acceptable range of a 12-
year old film given basic DVD release and flesh tones are mostly
accurate, if a bit soft. Finally, there are some edge enhancements,
but nothing to hamper your enjoyment of a modestly fine video
presentation.
Audio: How Does the Disc Sound?
Joe Versus the Volcano has been remixed for Dolby Digital 5.1 and
Dolby Surround 2.0 and while there is some creative use of the lefts
and rights, in both mixes, a 12-year old studio film should sound
better. The good news is there were no pops, hisses or other bits of
distortion. The clink and clank of tribal instruments and the annoying
buzz of florescent lights were rendered crystal clear. The dialogue is
always easy to understand, however some of Meg Ryan's dialogue tears a
good bit. Overall fidelity is good, but when Joe reached the island, I
expected a more aggressive surround experience. In all, a more
enveloping aural presentation would have been nice, but what is
supplied is fine. Of the two, go with the Dolby Digital 5.0.
The disc features additional English, French and Japanese 2.0
surround dubs, along with English Closed Captions and subtitle options
in English, French, Spanish, Portuguese and Japanese.
Supplements: What Goodies Are There?
Warner has
cobbled together supplements of the "What have we got in the
vault that we can throw onto the DVD so we don't get criticized?"
variety.
First off, there's a theatrical trailer,
presented in anamorphic widescreen. Colors are pretty dull, as I'm
sure this was pulled from one of the dustier levels of the studio
dungeon. Next is an item that Warner describes as a documentary. I beg
to differ. It's really just a four-minute EPK. Granted, I
always enjoy EPKs from movies of this era because they are so
shamelessly corporate and flavorless. Here we get Hanks, Ryan and
Shanley reaching deep into their hearts to discuss with the utmost
candidness and honesty how this is the funniest, most romantic film in
cinema history. Video is full-screen and although the print is pretty
clean, it's a bit dull and looks like 3rd generation Beta footage.
Also on the disc is a music video of Eric Burdon performing
the song "Sixteen Tons," made famous by Tennessee Ernie
Ford. Burdon is best known for his work with the Animals and the hits
Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood and Spill the Wine. In Joe Versus the
Volcano, Sixteen Tons is played over the opening credits, as Joe
shuffles towards another hopeless day at work. The video is presented
in full screen and includes some pretty horrible looking clips from
the movie. Audio is full and aggressive with some good bass action.
Finally, we've got resumes from all the major cast members.
DVD-ROM Exclusives: What do you get when you pop the disc
in your PC?
No ROM extras have been included.
Parting Thoughts
Joe Versus the Volcano is a frisky
fable that succeeds more than it fails. And when it does fail, you
give it credit for trying something different. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan
are, of course, the most adorable of couples and the production design
gives the film a real absurdist bent. Warner has done an okay job of
bringing the film to DVD, however unless you are a fan of the film, I
cannot recommend it for purchase. But if you're brave enough to risk
embarrassment by going to your local video store to rent it, you'll
find that one of the most maligned films of the last 15 years is
actually a sweet little surprise.