Love Actually(2003)- User Reviews

We all know where romantic comedies come from. They are churned out for the multi-millions of people out there who dream of being in a relationship (or a better one than the one they have). So, get together some really good looking actors, write a flimsy plot in which the good guys and gals end up living happily ever after just when they had given up on love forever, and take in the bucks on desperate date nights. It's a bloody formula, and even when it works, no self-respecting film buff could feel good about enjoying it. In this version, I will give this to its creators: they don't pull any punches, delivering a plethora of unlikely couples and happy endings that cascade like a constant waterfall. Or as I would call it, water torture. I won't dignify this piece of happy trash with a description of the many and varied romantic triumphs. Suffice to say that every single person gets what they want, no matter how ridiculously impossible and unlikely it would be in real life. No wonder there are so many unhappy couples in real life. Who can compete with Hugh Grant and his terminally constant eyelash flutterings? Or Keira Knightly's ever present prescious pout and laser eyes? There are so many highly attractive women in this movie that if they were paid by their looks, the producers would have been bankrupt! The lesson here is that every female wants to shag even more than guys do, and all it takes is stumbling upon just the right line or schtick to instantly end up in bed with a beauty. The guys, being dolts, have to be tricked by the women into noticing them, which doesn't prove to be very difficult to do. I'm not a party pooper--I know this is supposed to be over-the-top stuff, a romantic comedy on steroids that pokes fun at the very genre it depends upon. But it strains credulity to the point that I wanted to yell "Uncle!" I mean, the dorky Brit who has nothing to offer but a pleasntly goofy face and a charming accent, goes to America and instantly connects with four of the most beautiful, foxy, and sexy women a guy could imagine. FOUR! And they are apologetic that all they can offer him is to share one bed with all of them, while they are naked, of course. Get the picture? And of course, all of us with celebrity crushes inevitably will run in to a complete look-alike who is single and instantaneously digs our bones. Right. This film is poison to real realtionships between couples.