Happy Feet Two(2011)- User Reviews

SMELLY FEET TWO has got to be the WORST penguin movie since I saw the penguins in my damn zoo yesterday. Singing and dancing penguins are not cute, funny, nor fun. If I had a dollar for every time some doughy eye kid told me he liked penguins, then I'd have a dollar. My nephew Keith Nash refused to see this movie because he is a part time zookeeper at my damn zoo and had to tend to real penguins who dont sing or dance but instead poop EVERYWHERE. They have no manners, and will try to bite your penis. It is the worst. I've tried to euthanize them, but my dead wife won't let me. Yeah, she's dead now after seeing the AMAZING DREAM HOUSE on a bootleg copy i bought in Chinatown. But again don't worry, Scarlett Black Widow Johanessburg knows how to revive the dead. That's why we have so many tigers. They all died of a contagion that Keith Nash set loose, but she brought them back. The tigers were horny, so we got more tigers. You know how it goes. Dis damn zoo is killing me and cutting into my movie watching time. I wish I could go see J. MAKEUP again, but the porcupines need to be fed, and I don't have any Sugar Rocks for them. Greg Guts invented Sugar Rocks, btw, he's my cousin, and he also invented Chipotle, animal crackers, porn, and those crazy weird sunglasses that Kanye Never Eat Shredded Wheat wears and other hip hop legends. You know, the ones with the lines. He also invented super glue. The penguins got a hold of some super glue last week and I spent the entire day prying one off my dick. I almost peed in its mouth I was so angry. Keith Nash just laughed at me and told me he hadn't seen something that funny since Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated and started WWI. He is definitely not getting WATCH THE THRONE, the greatest album since Wilson Phillips graced American during the 90s with Hold On. What a better time. Movies were better, flannels were better, and Sugar Rocks were definitely better because they were made with real sugar and cocaine. Keith Nash is bothering me while I try and write dis review. He says he wants to eat Pizza Hut for dinner, but we all know Domino's is way better, and if he even mentions Papa John's like last week I will show up at his school and tell his teacher that he didn't do his homework, even though he did. I'll say he forged it or something, and he'll totes get in trouble. I better go order dis pizza, I don't want to pay cash because tips are for lame-o's and Cheerios. I don't even know what that means, I just needed something that rhymes or had rhythm, which deese singing penguins in Smelly Feet Two definitely do no have.

Oh hell, Keith Nash just roundhouse kicked me in the nose. There is blood EVERYWHERE! Gotta run. Come to my damn zoo.

Kind regards,
George