The Sad Tale of the ‘Conan the Barbarian’ Script Doctor

Last weekend's box office o' carnage claimed many victims, from Colin Farrell's recent comeback to Robert Rodriguez's one reliable franchise to Anne Hathaway trying an accent in a movie again, ever. But the biggest casualty might have been "Conan the Barbarian," the most expensive of all the face-planters and the one that had the highest hopes, way back when it was conceived. It is very easy for everyone to sit back and chuckle when a movie doesn't work out, but real, live human beings pour blood, sweat and Red Bull into every movie, and they're the ones who suffer when the public turns up its collective nose to the final product. It has to hurt.

Sean Hood, one of the countless screenwriters on "Conan the Barbarian," felt the pain most acutely over the weekend, and typed out his distress on Quora. It's a bit grueling to read. Poor guy. Here's a high/lowlight:

For the next couple of days, you walk in a daze, and your friends and family offer kind words, but mostly avoid the subject. Since you had planned (ardently believed, despite it all) that success would propel you to new appointments and opportunities, you find yourself at a loss about what to do next. It can all seem very grim.

You make light of it, of course. You joke and shrug. But the blow to your ego and reputation can't be brushed off. Reviewers, even when they were positive, mocked Conan The Barbarian for its lack of story, lack of characterization, and lack of wit. This doesn't speak well of the screenwriting - and any filmmaker who tells you s/he "doesn't read reviews" just doesn't want to admit how much they sting.

He is a screenwriter: If he is cut, does he not bleed? We sort of love that he's on Quora, though. Most screenwriters we know would just send a long email out from their AOL account.

What's it like to have your film flop at the box office? [Quora] (via Deadline)