Denouement: Why the ‘War Horse’ Poster Makes Me Sick of Oscar Season Already

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The Academy Awards are 152 days away. That's a long time from now. By that point, we'll know who won the World Series, the BCS and the Super Bowl. The Sundance Film Festival will have finished, and so will Valentine's Day. That's a lot of life that has to go by before Eddie Murphy hosts the Oscars. And I have to admit I'm already sick of it for this year. And I can blame it entirely on that poster for "War Horse." Seriously, have you looked at that thing?

It's not that it's an ugly or offensive poster. In fact, it's an entirely fine poster for the story of a young man and his horse during World War I. But what is terrible about it is how it shines a light on everything that is horribly, terribly wrong about Oscar season.

For example, it's a poster that practically bends over backwards saluting its worthiness. Even the horse looks afflicted by a severe case of Oscar solemnity. It's not that "War Horse" can't be a great movie, but the poster gives off the false impression that great movies are only achieved by really, really meaning it. There's no enticement or excitement in this poster: Basically, we're supposed to see "War Horse" because it's an Oscar movie, and what's wrong with you that you don't want to see a good movie?

Then there's that tagline. Good heavens. "Separated by war. Tested by battle. Bound by friendship." If you want your movie to grab a bunch of Academy Awards, it's very important that you explain to Oscar voters exactly what big themes are in your movie in the simplest, most generic way possible. You don't want to be daring or provocative: That just annoys people. No, you should spell these things out in an extremely pious way so that your poster's tagline could almost double for an inscription on a tombstone.

And what about the overall spirit of the design? Not every poster can be as arresting as "Drive," but, jeez, do they need to be as safe as "War Horse's" is? I like Spielberg, and I have high hopes for this movie, but after glancing at this poster the movie just feels like homework, like a tedious errand I need to cross off my to-do list. The poster skews "old" in a way that makes it feel geriatric and dull. When people complain about the Oscar voting pool being too old in general, what they're really saying is that the voters aren't willing collectively to salute edgier or more outre work. The "War Horse" poster is tailor-made for that crowd.

Again, there's no reason to assume "War Horse" won't be good. A poster isn't a movie. But what it represents is all the worst aspects of Oscar campaigning. Playing it safe. Going for a dull "uplifting" message. Never, ever cracking a smile or acting like movies are the most exciting art form out there. Nope, the Oscar race is too often about a glum-looking guy standing in front of a glum-looking horse. And I've still got 152 days of this to endure.

Steven Spielberg's 'War Horse': See the new poster -- EXCLUSIVE [Inside Movies/Entertainment Weekly]